Posted on by aarmstrong25 · 1 Comment

Let’s begin to heal

From childhood through life to where we are now, we go through a series of experiences and events. Those experiences and events ultimately shape and create the behaviors and patterns that we use to deal with the future experiences we will face.

Some of the things we face in life, we never asked to happen. For instance, we did not ask to be born into the families we were born into. We also do not ask to be in car accidents, or to be abused by people we love.

While there are some things we didn’t ask for, there are some things that we put ourselves in. If we are honest with ourselves, we have made life decisions that may not have been in our best interest.

We choose unhealthy romantic relationships, we have children with people whose character we didn’t get to know first, we make unwise financial decisions, and even dumbed ourselves down to appease others.

Even these choices, however, were a result of what was modeled to us as children.

So what am I talking about here? One word, TRAUMA.

Trauma is connected to so much of our dis functionality. When we think of the word trauma, at least when I do, I think of a massive drastic situation. We don’t consider the smaller traumas that have a lasting impact on us into adulthood.

Trauma can stem from one time events like car accidents or something that violently happened to you.

Trauma can also stem from ongoing stressful situations. Some of these are: bullying, domestic violence, the environment you live in and life threatening illnesses.

A lot of the trauma we have in our lives stems from childhood. As a child there are different areas of development (which I will break down in my next post), that if improperly developed, trauma stems from.

These underdeveloped areas then move with us into adulthood and wreak havoc into our decisions, relationships, habits, and behaviors. In order for us to change these behaviors, habits, decisions and relationships, we much do some internal searching of where the root of our traumas began.

Think of it as tending to a garden. If you just pull the weeds from the surface, they will grow back. Why? You did not get to the root of the problem which is under the surface. The roots must be completely dug out of the ground in or for the weeds to stop coming back. That means it isn’t enough to just forgive once, we must walk in continual forgiveness. It isn’t enough to acknowledge the pain but then you must process and heal from the pain. These are just a few examples.

We must apply this root pulling method to our traumas. In the next few posts, I am going to start breaking down the stages of development. We will look at what they are and what traumas can stem from them. My hopes is that you and I can then be able to identify the areas in our lives where our weeds, or traumas, are rooted.

Once we are able to do this, we can then cultivate healthier systems in our lives. Not only can we do this in our lives but also in the lives of our children, our children’s children and the people around us. We can change the trajectory of generational curses that have been passed down through our families.

Say this out loud: I AM A GENERATIONAL CURSE BREAKER!

Do you believe that?

This week I challenge you to begin to just think and ponder on some of the most hurtful things you have experienced. Reliving some moments may be difficult, however, it is necessary to break free and become your BEST YOU! I will walk along side you as we take this journey and I’m praying for you!

Till next time, be blessed

Ash

Posted on by aarmstrong25 · 1 Comment

Change Requires Active Participation

Change> To make someone or something different; alter or modify.

To replace something with something better.

Participation> Participation, the derivative of participate, means to take part in action.

An action involves movement. You cannot be participating without actively moving.

Why is change so difficult for us? What is it about change that makes us cringe?

There are many answers to these questions. One focal element stands true, however. CHANGE IS UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!! Our human flesh combats with change so hard because, we have adapted to who we are. We have become the literal definition of comfortable and we have depended on our routines for so long, that anything outside of our norm is foreign to us. We tend to lean away from change because it causes us to be uncomfortable and sacrifice what we are used to. It causes us to do things we have never done before. It leads us to wonder: How bad do we actually want to change?

A desire to change is one thing. Everything starts with an acknowledgment.But, what do we do after we come to the conclusion that we need a change? Do we put it on the back burner and ignore it, or do we take the next crucial steps to make that change happen? I say “crucial” because the longer we hold off on making a change, the longer we stay stagnant and cannot grow any further. We hold ourselves up.

My experience with change hasn’t always been the easiest either! One thing that I have gained through my changing experiences though, is that they were never as difficult as I made them out to be. I created giants out of my fears of what change meant. I would say things like “that’s impossible”, “I’ve been doing this for so long I don’t think I’ll ever be able to change it”, and worst of all , “I don’t need to change. I’m good how I am.” But then I would struggle with the things I didn’t like and it became a cycle of “I want to change, but I’m good where I’m at.” Once I got passed the acknowledgment phase and started to put the work in, I was able to see it wasn’t as bad as my fears made it out to be.

There are many reasons we may stop at the acknowledgment phase.

One of the main reasons is fear! Fear cripples us and causes us to resort back to our comfort zone. Let’s face it, our comfort got us this far, so it can’t be to bad, right? In the meantime, we don’t realize that our comfort and fear will keep us captive to a life of patterns and routine, never gaining or growing beyond the safe place we have created for ourselves. This is why we are surrounded by people who never made it. They have allowed themselves to cancel their dreams and desires, crippled by fears that may never even happen. My brother recently told me he was listening to a radio show. The man said “90% of our fears never even actually happen.” What??? That’s a HUGE percentage! So think about that. 90% of the things we think may happen, never do. So what does that say, really? Our thoughts are our enemy. The Bible says “As someone thinks of himself , so is he”. So what that means is, we have the ability to create the thoughts we need to succeed and stop those thoughts that cause us to retreat from changing.

Sounds easier said then done, trust me I know. No change is easy. However, change is the catalyst of growth and what will take us from where we are to where we need to be. Some changes are easier than others but all change is necessary.

Change is WORK! The outcome will blow your mind though. The hardest part of change is conditioning the mind from old actions and behaviors, to new ones.

Challenge yourself: This week, I want you to be real with YOU!!! Evaluate where you are, what your struggling with, what is holding you back, and what(if anything) is something in your life that you don’t want to continue in a pattern of. What is one thing about you or where you’re at that no longer is beneficial to who you want to be? It can be a characteristic change, a physical change, a mental change, etc. After you have pinpointed it, ask God to help you and to show you what you need to do in order to change(put God first). Then, start taking steps towards your goal. Create a list of things that will bring you to the change you want. Take one thing at a time!

Remember: change is a good thing! By definition, you are replacing one thing with something better! You can change anything you want. It starts with your mindset. The sky is the limit!!!!!

Stay blessed, until next time.

Ash